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my open book

reminiscence of the mind

5/17/10 04:34 pm - Comfort


Certain houses bring me comfort and tranquility, which makes me excited for my own house one day though I am overwhelmed by the thought of decorating it.  I am house-sitting for the little old French lady down the street and I love her house.  I love the fact that I am staying upstairs and I feel like I have reign of my own kingdom and I can go about my morning however I want.  I love that she has skylights and I don't have to turn on very many artificial lights.  I just finished reading a bit on her back porch, which is in closed (yay no bugs or other elements), but all the windows open for a breeze.  I could stay there for a week, if I allowed myself.

I am about two weeks away from traveling to London with my parents.  It hit me today how lucky I am and that I was truly excited about this trip.  Thinking about it almost brought tears to my eyes again just like when my mom first asked me if I would like to go, as if I would say no.  I haven't really done research on what I would like to do, even though she's asked me to.  I guess I just didn't make the time, but it's ok because she's planned out quite a bit.  I did do some research on coffee shops to hit up and sent her this list today, along with some hidden cafes.  I just hope I can get all my stuff packed and ready to be loaded out of the Acklen house and packed for the trip in time.  Oh, and finish the scrapbook which I am dragging my heels on terribly.

One of the many balls I had floating up in the air has been resolved and I can fully grasp it now.  A week ago I signed my acceptance letter for the scholarship I was offered at Rutgers University.  I will be living and studying in Camden, NJ in the fall.  I will be working towards my MPA (Masters in Public Administration) with a focus on International Development.  I will take about a year's worth of classes and then finish up with service in the Peace Corps.  I should have my degree after about three years if all things go as planned - which they don't since I have been walking down this "going to school road" for two year now.

4/16/10 10:40 pm - With these feet.

I took this photo to represent the beginning of beautiful weather in my life by the fact that my Chaco tan has appeared.  When I first got my Chacos I found them to be very uncomfortable and did not wear them for a whole year.  I ended up wearing them to Bonnaroo one year and fell in love.  Now once the outside world hits the 50s and higher, they are the only pair of shoes I wear when I can get away with it.

This week I have been reminded of the importance of my feet and my mobility.  This Tuesday I had minor surgery on my right foot for some planter's warts that I had lived with for the past six years.  I didn't think the procedure would be a big deal, but I have been mostly immobile since that day.  I am wearing a boot which causes me to walk very slow and with a limp.  I also am taking pain medication when needed which makes me dizzy and trippy, needless to say its been hard for me to concentrate for the past few days.  I haven't felt stable to drive so when I have left the house some one else has been driving me.  I feel like I have the flu or some other debilitating sickness but without the crappy "I'm sick" feeling, which makes this more frustrating.  I am shooting to go back to work on Monday, but that is all based on how much healing my foot does over the next two days.  At least I have more sick time I can use if necessary.

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8/10/08 08:01 am - One of my favorite entires

No Impact Man

When it comes to saving the world, just try, try, try

Posted: 07 Aug 2008 02:00 AM CDT

There is a story I love, one of those stories that bolsters me up. It's about the Korean monk who founded the school of Zen where I meditate (the Kwan Um School of Zen).

Dae Soen Sa Nim, as his students called him, decided that world peace would come if all the religious leaders of the world got together and had a good, human conversation.

The way to do that, Dae Soen Sa Nim believed, was to get all the world’s religious leaders to have a hot tub together.

In order to get all the religious leaders into the same hot tub, Dae Soen Sa Nim thought it was important that the invitation came from the most senior religious leader in the world--the Pope. He wanted the Pope to send out a letter that said, essentially, “Dear Fellow Religious Leader, How about we get a hot tub and figure out how to get world peace?”

So without invitation, Dae Soen Sa Nim got on a plane, flew to Italy, marched up to the gates of the Vatican and asked to see the Pope. No, he told the guard, he did not have an appointment. The guard sent Dae Soen Sa Nim to see one of the priests. A day or two later, the priest sent him to see a bishop. A couple of days after that the bishop got him an appointment to see a cardinal.

As the story goes, the cardinal in question did not see the value in Dae Soen Sa Nim’s approach. The Pope, presumably, was too busy with other, non-hot-tub-oriented approaches to world peace. There, the effort died.

But why this story gets told again and again in the Zen school is because of the sheer “just try, try, try, for ten thousand years only try” energy of Dae Soen Sa Nim’s approach. He started from where he was and just did the best he could, given the particular person he was. He had an idea that he thought might help, and instead of questioning himself, he trusted himself. He tried.

This story suggests that, instead of sitting around figuring out the best way to save the world, we should just start saving the world. It's too late for more think tanks. We need do tanks. Thirsty people need water. Hungry people need food. It's not any more complicated unless we make it so.

You may say, wait, this is a story with no pay off. The kooky guy tried and it didn't work. Except that's not the reason the world has not been saved. The reason the world has not been saved is because not enough other people have yet joined in with their own kooky attempts. Not enough other people have yet vowed to "just try, try, try, for ten thousand years only try."

So just try. It might not be your effort that gets the Pope in the hot tub or saves the world. It may not be mine. But if we all just start trying from where we are, one of us, or a couple of thousand of us, will soon cross the finish line and get the job done.

8/4/08 08:48 am - The high life

Hello world out there. I am still alive and kicking, although less kicking and lots more weird dreams. The kind I never had before where I wake up and I am literally freaking out in my head thinking things in the dark are going to get me before I realize I am awake.

I deleted the myspace account this morning. I don't ever get on the thing and people fuss at me when they say "But I sent you an invite." Well now I can say I really didn't get it and you will have to tell me IN PERSON like human beings used to.

I cannot wait till My Morning Jacket...two weeks to go.

Kibbe gets in this weekend. Yay! When I called her Saturday I really thought I was talking to the dead version of her because she had lost her voice. Funnest thing ever - had to be put on speaker phone.

Also, the new roommate moves in today and Katherine is GoNe. She didn't get the TPAC job and so she's still looking - from home - as in WI.

My dad in in the Dominican right now and my mom is home alone and her birthday is this Saturday.

Something are brewing but I'm dragging my feet - can't seem to focus. I always seem paranoid right now.

7/4/08 09:53 am - Wordle

6/24/08 03:38 pm - It's Tuesday.

It's Tuesday and I am wearing a new dress...from Target. I am really into (for me) dresses this summer. It's more freeing than anything else.

This weekend was I was mad sick and disposing of anything in my stomach. I still don't fell 100% but I should by tomorrow. I also had to buy two new tires yesterday so my car has been really needy lately.

OH! If you know of any one looking for a place to live we have a room opening up at our house. Please let me know and I'll get you the details.

I also got a new phone. No more mini no matter how cute it was. Now I have a phone made partly by Walkman (remember them?).

Who's going to My Morning Jacket in August? I hope you are because it will be the concert of the summer. Better be there!

I do how ever enjoy cooking and last night reminded me how long it's been and that I need to cook more often.

I have this Saturday off (yes the whole day) any one doing any thing fun or want to go to the Franklin Farmer's market with me?

Ok those are the random thoughts of the day...

6/4/08 03:21 pm - A line of thoughts

Currently I am in Lancaster, PA for work...it's been was better than I thought. I am re-energized for work. I am one happy girl right now.

Soooo happy and smiling.

I was going to say more but never mind.

Oh and we won an award...

5/20/08 07:05 am - Early morning...

Didn't sleep well and woke up too early...I guess I can get ready faster? At this rate though I'll be right on time. Way to waste some time with me internet.

I think about how it might have been
We'd spend out days travelin'
It's not that I don't understand you
It's not that I don't want to be with you
But you only wanted me
The way you wanted me

So, I will head out alone, hope for the best
And we hang our heads down
As we skip the goodbyes
And you can tell the world what you want them to hear
I've got nothing left to lose, my dear
So, I'm up for the little white lies
But you and I know the reason why
I'm gone, and you're still there
I'm gone, and you're still there
I'm gone, and you're still there

A little song lyrics...

5/18/08 03:39 pm - Battle time.

Here's my garden a month ago:


And here's my garden yesterday:

Garden May 2008

I planted some tomatoes and peppers in there yesterday.

Things are good. I'm selling some of my produce to a caterer in about an hour and I had the whole weekend off with nothing to do. I finally bought a salad spinner too and it's amazing!

I had pulled a muscle in my back and the first day I was a baby but it hurt so bad...every time I exhaled.

What else? I am going to try to ride my bike to work tomorrow...wish me luck and safety.

OH and Jillian finally decided on a bridesmaid dress and so I picked that up yesterday also.

Ok time to put the clothes in the dryer.

5/2/08 09:19 am - Comprimise.

Well, now there's been $200 stolen from my bank account...
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